var Quotation=new Array() // do not change this!

Quotation[0] = "If you can't beat them, arrange to have them beaten - George Carlin";
Quotation[1] = "One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor - George Carlin";
Quotation[2] = "Fighting for peace is like screwing for virginity - George Carlin";
Quotation[3] = "Always do whatever's next - George Carlin";
Quotation[4] = "Odd feeling: sitting on the toilet eating a chocolate candy bar - George Carlin";
Quotation[5] = "Electricity is really just organized lightning - George Carlin";
Quotation[6] = "I'm in shape. Round is a shape - George Carlin";
Quotation[7] = "Weather forecast for tonight: dark - George Carlin";
Quotation[8] = "It's never just a game when you're winning - George Carlin";
Quotation[9] = "What if there were no hypothetical questions? - George Carlin";
Quotation[10] = "There are no stupid questions, just stupid people - Anonymous";
Quotation[11] = "Energizer Bunny arrested, charged with battery - Anonymous";
Quotation[12] = "He who laughs last didn't get it - Anonymous";
Quotation[13] = "The meek shall inherit the Earth after we're done with it - Anonymous";
Quotation[14] = "Don't be so humble - you are not that great - Golda Meir";
Quotation[15] = "I can tell you're lying. Your lips are moving - Anonymous";
Quotation[16] = "I'm not prejudiced. I hate everyone equally - Anonymous";
Quotation[17] = "Time flies when you don't know what you're doing - Anonymous";
Quotation[18] = "The future isn't what it used to be - Anonymous";
Quotation[19] = "Always remember you're unique, just like everyone else - Anonymous";
Quotation[20] = "Things you never see: a puppet with a hard-on - George Carlin";
Quotation[21] = "Chess: the piece movement - George Carlin";
Quotation[22] = "Drug traffic: driving to your connection's house - George Carlin";
Quotation[23] = "Douche: a female duke - George Carlin";
Quotation[24] = "Beer nuts: the official disease of Milwaukee - George Carlin";
Quotation[25] = "Cotton balls: the final stage of beer nuts - George Carlin";
Quotation[26] = "Sometimes a little brain damage can help - George Carlin";
Quotation[27] = "If the shoe fits, get another one just like it - George Carlin";
Quotation[28] = "Fuck soccer moms! - George Carlin";
Quotation[29] = "Hobbies are for people that lack direction - George Carlin";
Quotation[30] = "Auto racing: slow minds and fast cars - George Carlin";
Quotation[31] = "Cancer research is a growth industry - George Carlin";
Quotation[32] = "You never see a smiling runner - George Carlin";
Quotation[33] = "Think off-center - George Carlin";
Quotation[34] = "Things a king never has to say: Can I play, too? - George Carlin";
Quotation[35] = "Things a king never has to say: Wait for me, guys! - George Carlin";
Quotation[36] = "Things a king never has to say: I never seem to get laid! - George Carlin";
Quotation[37] = "The bigger they are, the worse they smell - George Carlin";
Quotation[38] = "I don't see the problem with devil worship - George Carlin";
Quotation[39] = "Who stole the banana guacamole? - George Carlin";
Quotation[40] = "There are only two places in the world: here and there - George Carlin";
Quotation[41] = "A cemetery is a place where dead people live - George Carlin";
Quotation[42] = "Hard work is for people short on talent - George Carlin";
Quotation[43] = "We are all precancerous - George Carlin";
Quotation[44] = "I choose toilet paper through a process of elimination - George Carlin";
Quotation[45] = "Ride the wild paramecium! - George Carlin";
Quotation[46] = "What exactly is 'diddley squat'? - George Carlin";
Quotation[47] = "I think you ought to be able to lease a dog - George Carlin";
Quotation[48] = "Life is a near-death experience - George Carlin";
Quotation[49] = "It's bad luck to kill a dog with a cooking spoon - George Carlin";
Quotation[50] = "Think... 'clown vomit' - George Carlin";
Quotation[51] = "Does God really have to watch all this shit? - George Carlin";
Quotation[52] = "Cancer is caused by a fear of malignant tumors - George Carlin";
Quotation[53] = "A laugh is a smile with a whole in it - George Carlin";
Quotation[54] = "'Santa' is 'Satan' spelled inside out - George Carlin";
Quotation[55] = "Somehow, it's hard to picture butterflies fucking - George Carlin";
Quotation[56] = "So far, this is the oldest I've been - George Carlin";
Quotation[57] = "How about a feminine hygiene spray called 'Sprunt'?- George Carlin";
Quotation[58] = "Everything beeps now... - George Carlin";
Quotation[59] = "You know what we need? Black Jell-O - George Carlin";
Quotation[60] = "Aluminum is a jive metal - George Carlin";


var Q = Quotation.length;
var whichQuotation=Math.round(Math.random()*(Q-1));
function showQuotation(){document.write(Quotation[whichQuotation]);}
showQuotation();